Of Course not! I will always care, its just that... I'm being... I don't know anymore what I'm becoming. I feel shit when people talk behind my back and I'm giving them the right to do so... Well, frankly I'll be doing the same thing if I'm not in hell hole right now! Life is just so unpredictable... your beliefs, your restrictions, your values just when *POOF!* in an instant. Suddenly nothing make sense and you get this feeling of letting go of the control you have been trying to hold on for quite sometime, The reality of it all is that no one is immune to this, I thought I was before... its like a virus ready to attack when your in the worst possible situation... I don't even know how I became this vulnerable, how I became this stupid... The bad thing about all of this is I have no idea how to defend myself... Sad, I know, but truth is I'm more scared, frightened when will my humiliation happen... Hope never... Please God, I hope its not the lesson you want me to learn...

Let's start of with BUSY, starting today until the end of the month I'll be pretty busy, relatives are coming home for my cousins wedding and also to unwind, Of course were here to somehow entertain them... (goodluck with that.) that means less nap time for me, Now I have an excuse to be grumpy (YES!).

HEARTLESS, I'm just listening to Kanye's song and I just started to get hurt, It's my thing to try and think too much and I end up getting paranoid. (That's just great!) How many times have I been in this dilemma, wherein I just end up being alone and sulking in one corner, My brain is an egotistical part of my body that it won't let my heart win not even once! Well, I'm not happy about it but I guess, you need to do the right thing for everyone's sake, Instead of hurting a lot of people go ahead and just ruin one's person heart, at least you have only one heart to a make a peace with. This rollercoaster is a neverending ride that I'm getting sucked in... I hope I have enough will to stay tough, But I'm just unpredictable, The next post might be, just maybe, you'll never know....

Reset everything, Let's start over again... I love my old life! Give it back! I did not ask for this, nor did I wish for this... Leave me the hell alone! Your taken and I'm not! Let me live in peace... I deserve it... I'm not stupid, not even typical! So find someone else who will fall for your stupid games. I know players when I smell one... The best I can do is stay as far away from you as possible... But how? Dodging you is getting me nowhere... Hate to be a bitch so don't let me be... let's not do this... I hate to think that someone thinks I'm yours... lets not make everyone think like that! Let's press the reset button so we can redo everything right this time...

RANTING, COMPLAINING! WHAT ELSE??? I'M JUST LIFELESS... I NEED A NEW LIFE, A NEW MOMENT, I HAVE NO IDEA, I JUST KNOW THAT I NEED SOMETHING FRESH (SUSHI IS NOT AN OPTION!)

THE ENVIRONMENT IS NOT HELPING AT ALL, IN FACT IT MAKES ME SICK DOWN TO THE VERY PIT OF MY BLOATING STOMACH! I'M SO BORED THAT I'M WILLING TO DO WHATEVER IT TAKES TO GET OUT OF THIS HELL HOLE!

PEOPLE AROUND ME JUST DON'T GET IT, HOW CAN THEY? THEY HAVE NO IDEA HOW CHAOTIC MY THOUGHTS ARE...

MY MOM WON'T EVEN COME HOME AND WHILE I WAS HAVING FUN IN BANGKOK MY SISTER HAD A MISCARRIAGE, TALK ABOUT KARMA! I KNOW I SHOULDN'T BE BLAMING MYSELF FOR ALL OF THIS, BUT IT'S JUST HARD NOT TO. SHE TOLD ME THERE PLANNING MY VACATION IN AUSTRALIA AFTER OUR REUNION ON MAY. I'VE ALWAYS WANT TO GO THERE BUT NOW ISN'T THE RIGHT TIME. WHY? I HAVE PLANS TOO. I CHOSE TO BE SINGLE SO I CAN AVOID ALL THE DRAMA BUT IT SEEMS LIKE I'M GLUED IN TO IT.

I can't believe I wasn't able to tell tales about my singapore misadventures/ adventures. I've been through hell and back and I conquered it while laughing my ass off. I guess when your with friends and your really eager to continue with the master plan, then no one can stop you! not even the fucking Jet star attendant! I say curse online booking!!! There's a lot of details that happen but it all went well and as my friends and I were saying, It's all worth it!" I swear! I would prefer the experience we had to happen over and over again! Even if it's against all odds! It's Fangirls against the world.... OF ONLINE BOOKING!!!

Now, I'm about to embark in another adventure! Of course, fangirl moment again! Different boyband, same gaga moments! I think this will top my SG moment! Don't get me wrong! I had a blast at SG! but this one we'll be better because all of the Bitches plus new NFF are coming! I mean if you see us together you'll know why! This time it's a diff. approach, we have a flight but we still have no ticket for the concert! Woohoo!!!! No one can stop us from seeing our beloved boylets! NO ONE! NO ONE! Can get in the way of what I feel for you...